Friday, July 1, 2011

Not so fun Friday!

If you don't know a good amount about ttc, you may get a little lost in this post. I'll try to explain as much as I can. So, if you are interested try and keep with it.

So, I started Provera June 9th. This is a medication that forces you to have a period. I take 2 pills for 5 days, and usually 3 to 5 days after the last pill I start my period. This time 14 days past with nothing. No period at all. I call and talk to a nurse, and she tells me she is going to call in Premarin (estrogen) because they don't think my lining is building up to have a period. I go pick it up (its 30 bucks). I start spotting the next day. And I get af full on the day after. I schedule my baseline ultrasound for today, CD 3. This is to make sure everything is okay before I start my Clomid and Follistim (fertility meds). Well, they do a check and things are not okay. Erin (nurse practitioner) tell me I have a huge cyst, and turns the ultrasound screen to show me. And the cyst is huge. 58mmx35mm. I have to be careful for the next month while I take birth control to try and shrink the cyst, and hope it goes away. I guess, its big enough if it rupture it could cause damage to my ovary. And here is the giant monster inside of me.



The little tiny dots to the right of the huge one are how big your follicles are supposed to be at this point. The cyst is inside my ovary, and has it stretched 3 times the size its supposed to be. Erin was really surprised I hadn't been having a lot of pain. It is sore on that side from the ultrasound I think. But if I get any sharp pains I have to come in.

This girl can't catch a break. Better luck next time?

Friday, June 24, 2011

I wish I had news.

But I don't. :(

My period refuses to start even after taking Provera. This has never happened before. :(


Complete suckage.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I've got a secret!

I started my provera today. You know the "Hey body, make with the perioding" pill. Wooohoooo. That means we are in the early stages of starting a cycle, but as of right now its a secret. Which means, if you read this shhhhhhhhhh. :) I don't feel extremely hopeful, but whatever. I'll get through it.




In other news, I have a brand new nephew! I was there to see him be born, and it was incredible to be a part of. My sister in law had a natural birth, and it made me feel empowered. At first inferior, but now empowered. Here is my new nephew. Rylan Andrew! Isn't he just fabulous!?









I have lots to do, so I should get going. But I'll try (promise promise) to write more! :D


oxoxox.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Well, I really am just terrible at keeping this blog up to date. I guess I will start where I left off. It turns out I did not ovulate on my own just from the drilling. :( When I called the office to get the results she explained that my progesterone was only 0.9, and was indicating I didn't ovulate and that I wasn't going to start my period. I was sitting on the bed, and Jonathan was laying beside me. I hung it up and just started to bawl, I was inconsolable. He just held me and I cried for a couple minutes, gained my composure and went on with my day.




Flash forward to March 14th when I started a period from taking more provera. I expected nothing from this cycle whatsoever. To me, in my head, this whole thing had became a means to the end. To get to a failed IVF cycle so I could say to myself "I have done everything I could, and this is it. Its over, and its time to move on." My doctor told me he wanted to do a Clomid/Follistim cycle, which is the last thing I did before the drilling, so I expected even less. We have 4 ultrasounds that cycle. A baseline, which was normal. A cycle day 10 check, that revealed absolutely nothing. It looked as though it wasn't working. A cycle day 14 check. This one was intriguing. The doctor said I had a dominant follicle, which hadn't ever happened before. He said continue to take the shots and come back. I came back on cycle day 16, still expecting nothing at all. I am laying there like I always do, Jonathan is sitting behind the doctors not even paying any attention to the ultrasound machine. It was pretty much "lets get this over with so we can go home." The doctor, a resident, and nurse were all in the room as well. The doctor tells me I have nice lining, we all have a good laugh about it. Because I always have good lining. Every ultrasound tech and doctor has complimented me on my lining. WOOOHOOO. lol. Then he uses the wand to look the right and says  "OH!!! There's one!!!!" Even he was surprised. I sat half way up...wand and all and said "REALLY?" I lay back after getting a glimpse, and notice Jonathan has popped out of his chair to look over the doctor shoulder to get a look himself. Its been the best feeling during this journey so far. He told us to go home and take the trigger, and then you know what!

Then my first official 2 week wait started. And it took forever. We took tons of tests, tried different peoples houses, just incase our bathroom is cursed. But 15 days after my first cycle with ovulation my period started. And it was crushing. But, its been a couple days, and many deep breaths later I have decided to call this a successful cycle. We finally know how to get my body to ovulate, and that should make the next cycle easier.

Until next time,

oxoxox Emmi

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tomorrow We Should Find Out...

If I ovulated! And I am soooo nervous. I haven't really had to face the option that maybe the ovarian drilling didn't work, until I realized how soon I would know. I'm so afraid, and so nervous. I don't even want to know anymore. Like, maybe that sounds dumb. I don't know. If I just waited to see if I got my period, at least then I could hold out hope for another week. If they call me tomorrow, and I tell me I didn't ovulate then I have to deal with it right then and there. I'm not ready to let go of the hope. Its the first time in a long time I have actually felt hopeful more than 12 days after my period started. It feels good. I don't want to do more treatments, I don't want to take anymore pills. I don't want anymore shots, or follicle scans. I just want my baby. That's all. That is all I have asked for 2 and a half years. I just want to hold you, or even just take comfort in the fact that you just kicked me. Or hear your heartbeat. Anything.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Ovarian Drilling

Bear with me as I try to type out the whole thing. Just to get this out of the way here is a clip from a website.

"Ovarian drilling, done during laparoscopy, is a procedure in which a laser fibre or electrosurgical needle punctures the ovary 4 to 10 times. This treatment results in a dramatic lowering of male hormones within days and is often performed in women who have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Studies have shown that up to 80 percent of patients will benefit from such treatment. Many women who fail to ovulate with clomiphene or Metformin therapy will respond when these medications are reintroduced to the system after ovarian drilling. Side effects are rare, but may result in adhesion formation or ovarian failure if there are complications during the procedure."

The surgery was at 730am, and we had to be there at 530. I woke up, and took a shower. Blew my hair dry a little bit, and got on some comfy pants. We got to the hospital, and I got called back to pre-op pretty quick. I felt like I was sitting back there forever though. They of course had me do a pee test, and of course I wasn't pregnant. I told the lady doing the IV that I was a hard stick, and she thought she landed my vein on the first try. Boyyyy was she wrong. She noticed the fluid wasnt running through the IV. She touched the IV and it hurt like holy hell. The area had gotten all hard, and blown up. She got it out, and its still a little sore. Oh yeah, this was last Tuesday. Anyways, the second one she got in okay. Then they finally got Jonathan back there, and he was so nervous to see me in hospital bed, and I had to coax him to get him to come close to me. Then my MIL and SIL showed up, but they were only there for a second. They did get to meet my fertility doctor though, which was kind of cool. I think 3 different people came back from anesthesia and asked me the same questions, and one doctor even asked me if I smoked 4 different times. Then Jonathan had to go back out to the waiting room, and I was nervous at that point. They told me they were going to take me back to the operating room, but first give me a shot of something to calm me down. They explained all the crap that was going to go down in there, and all the fun stuff. By the time I got to the operating room I felt fabulous. Lol. I didn't even care about where I was. I'm not even sure if the oxygen mask touched my face before I passed out.

Fast forward to me waking up, everything was really blurry at first, and I was in so much pain. I remember moaning, and the nurse asking if I was in pain. I was. They had an oxygen mask on me, and only took it off to give me the pill. After a little while they took it off of me, and put the tube things in my nose for oxygen. They told me I was having trouble breathing on my own, and I needed to focus on taking deep breaths. I kid you not, if my mind trailed for a second onto something else, my little alarm would go off because my oxygen levels dropped. Scary. I remember asking the lady when I would get to see my husband. She told me it wouldn't be until I got moved to the next room. I layed there and just kind of floated for a while.

They moved me to the next room, where I had to sit in a recliner type thing, and not a bed. Seeing Jonathan was the best thing ever. We sat around in the room for awhile, and they finally told me I could get dressed. I had the hardest time moving, and Jonathan pretty much had to dress me. When I first stood up it felt like water running down my leg. I told Jonathan I thought I might be bleeding, and when he looked down there were droplets of blood on the floor. He went to get the nurse. She said it was normal, but that she had forgot to give me a pad. I didn't even bring one because I wasn't aware I would be bleeding. They discharged me, and sent me home with scripts for Motrin 800, and Tylonel 3. Yeah freakin right!

Well, right around the time that we pulled into the driveway the percocet wore off, and the medicine wouldn't be ready for another half an hour. I hard the hardest time getting into the house, even with Jonathan's help. I cried all the way to the front door. It hurt so bad, everything hurt. After he got me into bed, he left to pick up the medicine. Someone started knocking on my door, loud knocking. I don't know how I did it, but somehow I managed to make it to the front door. I opened it, and my best friend's mom had sent me flowers.   It was wonderful, but terrible that I had to carry them back to bed, and find some way to get back into bed.

He gets home, and let me just tell you for the first 24 hours Motrin and T3's weren't cutting it, but I had to deal with it. My arms and legs swelled up so big and hurt so much. Oh yeah, and I also discovered I had stitches once I got home. They didn't bother to tell me that at the hospital. I couldn't sleep at all, and it was like I wasn't even tired. I called the answering service for my doctor to see if they could give me more percocet, and another doctor called and said I would either have to go to the ER or wait until morning. The very last thing I wanted to do was go sit at the ER. But still I could not sleep, and they told me at the hospital I would be tired. Finally at around 11pm I took a benadryl as a last resort. I don't have any idea how it worked, considering the codine in the Tylonel wasn't making me sleepy. I did finally get some sleep.

Ever since then I have woke up every day feeling a little better. On Wednesday we made a 6 hour drive to Tennessee for Jonathan's Papa's funeral. I don't know where I got the strength for the trip the day after surgery, but I did. My post-op appointment is tomorrow at 9am, and I am excited to find out whats next. Thanks for reading.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Alright, I know, I am the worst, (Emmi)

Blogger that is. I just can't keep myself motivated to write in it all the time. It is so much easier to record a video and upload it than to sit here and write. When I sit to write a blog, I dont even know what to talk about.


Well...we did go on a great vacation! Me, Jonathan, Jhielysa, Bobbert, and Chris all went to Gatlinburg and had a great time. On the the first full day there we went rafting, and much to my amusement Bobbert and Chris both fell out of the raft. :) We spent a lot of our time go karting and playing putt putt. But, one very important thing, the Ripley's Fertility Statues are on a world tour right now. ANDDDD they just happened to be in Gatlinburg. :D Of course we went there as well! It was over all one of the best vacations so far.





I have done nothing but work since we got back, but hey, it builds character right? Right now, just so you know, I am waiting on AF and I hope as soon as that shows up I have much better things to talk about. :D